I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
