you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
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