I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Randomize
