if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Randomize
