I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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