I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize
