I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
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