Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Randomize
