so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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