I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Randomize
