everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Randomize
