quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
