question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
