i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
