we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
