this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
