theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
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