So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
