i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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