I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
Your dad touched me again.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
