My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
and eventually we just all took our pants off
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
