I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Randomize
