i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
I wish you could order shots online.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
