I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
