It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Randomize
