somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
