The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
vagina is talking i cant
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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