first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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