I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
