I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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