"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I just want nice things and good sex
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Randomize
