I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Randomize
