this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
