I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize