I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
