I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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