Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
My ass is underappreciated
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
