I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Randomize
