Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Randomize
