Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Randomize
