she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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