He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
