Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
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