ya dads aren't the best wingmen
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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