Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
