dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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