why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
