The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
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