I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
