It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
Randomize
