They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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