Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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