You smell like stripper and shame
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
